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Brexit Day

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Can't wait for Brexit Day this Friday.

I'm particularly looking forward to seeing all those scrounging EU migrants being expelled. And for the burgundy passports to be replaced by British blue ones. And to see VAT removed from sanitary products.

What do you mean the government could have done all these things without actually leaving the EU?

Oh well, at least the EU can't force us to hand over cash to bail out the Euro. Or force us to join an EU army.

What? They couldn't force us to do either?

Well at least we don't have to accept Turkey joining the EU and all the subsequent Turkish migrants coming to the UK.

Wait. What? It was the UK who petitioned for Turkey to become a candidate member? And we could veto them joining at any point if we changed our minds? And we already have about half a million Turkish migrants in the UK despite them not being a member of the EU?

I don't know what to believe any more. What the hell was all this Brexit nonsense about then?

Well at least we can be open to the world and accept immigrants from our old friends Australia, Canada and the US.

What the fuck do you mean we do anyway?

At least we'll save some cash won't we? Cash we can invest in those areas of the UK that desperately need it?

Oh fuck off. The cash allotted by the UK government for this is less than 15% of the cash the EU used to allocate for those same areas?

Well now we can begin to prevent all that tax avoidance that people always go on about, now we're not tied down by EU red tape?

Seriously? The UK is the world's leader in allowing tax avoidance? And the EU's anti-tax avoidance legislation was constantly held up by the UK? The EU is forcing multi-national companies, mostly based in the US, to pay the tax on the profit where its earned rather than in a country of their own choice? And that the UK's plans to do the same have just been abandoned?

At the very least we'll be able to trade with the so-called tiger economies like India, China and Brazil? We do already? Sod it.

I give up. If someone figures out what the point of Brexit was, send me a postcard.

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